deathday

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<<type 40ms>> <<linkreplace "wake up" t8n>><<linkreplace "wake up" t8n>><<linkreplace "wake up" t8n>><<linkreplace "wake up" t8n>><<linkreplace "wake up" t8n>>[[wake up]] <</linkreplace>> <</linkreplace>> <</linkreplace>> <</linkreplace>> <</linkreplace>> <</type>>

<<type 40ms>> today was the day i [[died|last]]. <</type>> <<set $cereal to 0>> <<set $bio to 0>>

I'm just going to ignore this feeling, there's no way i'm going to die today that's rediculous to even consider.<<type 40ms>> i do have a very important decision though what will get me to work on time? my [[bike]] or the [[bus]] <</type>>

seeing as it's my last day i'm in no hurry. so I hop in the shower, going through my usual soutine, shaving and bushing my teeth pretending like its conserving water. Steeping out of the shower just as my foot hits the floor i realize i had forgotton my bathroom carpet in the dryer the night before. <<type 40ms>>the carpet was the only thing that kept me from [[slipping|slip]]. <</type>>

apparently i was going to die someother way. thank god too, although my head fucking hurts dying in the bathroom would be so embarassing. The good part about dying today though was that I could take my time and eat a nice breakfast. and while opening a pantry to nothing more than [[cereal]] or [[toast]] is a bit disheartening, it's better than nothing right?

after of wonderful meal of stale lucky charms and questionable milk i knew i should leave the house quick. If i'm going to die, why in the hell would i waste today in my nasty apratment when theres a whole fucking world to [[explore|skip]]. <<set $cereal to 1>>

I hear the toaster pop and grab my [[knife]] to pull the toast out.

this feeling just would not go away, but i had work to do and i just had to ignore it. <<print either ("as i walked up to the door there was a sign posted that the building had been temporarily [[closed]] due to natural gas leak" , "I just scurried up the staris to the fifth floor and snuck into my office, luckily no one noticed i was late so I just got to work until [[noon]].")>>

either im whowing up to work [[late|accident]] or taking the [[shortcut|work]], which while fast is a bit of an iffy ride...

<<print either ("just as i decide to take the bus catch a glipse out of my window and see it down the block. i go as fast a i fucking can and just a i burst out the doors i miss it, i missed the bus... again. I guess im just going to [[skip]] today, <<type 40ms>>maybe it's a sign i gotta make the most of today.<</type>>" , "I just bareky caught the bus the driver was even impressed I made it on. if im gunna shake this feeling i decided <<type 40ms>>i gotta go to [[work]]<</type>>") >>

this is some of the most beautiful weather I've seen in a while, kind of ironic for the day i'm going to did huh.... i'm not dweeling too much i gotta have some fun i've always wanted to go to the nearby [[woods]] and the [[aquarium]], but maybe i should just explore the [[city]] see if there is anything special happening.

well if i can't to work i may as well [[wander|city]]. i think this might be a sign that i have to have fun today, it really might be my last...

NOON! i'm free... for like an hour, missing breakfast has left me fucking hungry too i know i have some leftover [[spaghetti]] in the office fridge or maybe ill go [[out|tacos]], treat myself since i've been feeling like shit all day.

i put the spaghetti in the microwave for a couple minutes while i scroll on my phone and within seconds i stat to smell burning. i look up realizing i had left the [[tin foil]] on my leftovers

i joined a few worker at a nearby taco truck we chatted and ate it was quite a good time, they even invited me to drinks after work. i'm realizing that not everyone i work with is terrible, which is nice. But of course time passed and it was time to [[return]] to work. Howevr the feelings of dread hadn't passed, if anything the ywere getting worse i was really considering running off to the [[woods]].

the second half of the day went by as well as work can go. really i was so excited to leave. going out with my [[coworkers]] sounded like fun but i had also gotten an email about reduced cost at the [[aquarium]] which aslo sounded fun.

i take the bus as far out as it goes to find the outdoors, it arrives at the basse of a nearby mountain and i decide ican either [[hike]] up to the waterfall that i used to love as a child or just take a [[nap]] in the sun at the picnic area near the base.

<<if $cereal is 1>> I started to feel super sick while walking around town and eventually i thew up in the street to then only look up to see the car[[...|wake up]] <<else>> I decided to explore the city, i felt like some nice [[seafood]] could be fun, I've never tried shellfish due to a common alergy in my family and I've always wondered. But i'm not suer hungry since i just ate breakfast so maybe i should just [[wander]] and see what the city has to offer <</if>>

i don't normally [[drink]] but since the feeling of dread kept growing i decided I may as well right? but also maybe this was just a [[feeling]].

I show up at the aquarium and it was weirdly empty, i guess that's what happens on a weekday. I look at the map and see a few interesting tanks id like to go and see, [[sharks]], [[turtles]], and the [[touch tank]]

it was super fun to hang out with new people, but i still had this dread and all i could thingk to do was [[drink|pass out]] about it

i decided to leave because i kept feeling like everything was going to kill me and as i was just thiking and walking my vision all the sudden got really bright[[...|wake up]]

i got a bit out of hand with the drinking and everything started to get really foggy <<print either ("[[foggy|passed]]" , "[[foggy|forest]]")>>

I don't remember how I had gotten here but I knew I was fucked, it's dark and I can't find my phone this had to be it, all I could do is [[wait]] for something, anything to happen

<<type 60ms>> <<linkreplace "wait" t8n>><<linkreplace "wait" t8n>><<linkreplace "wait" t8n>><<linkreplace "wait" t8n>><<linkreplace "wait" t8n>>[[wait2]]<</linkreplace>> <</linkreplace>> <</linkreplace>> <</linkreplace>> <</linkreplace>> <</type>>

i show up to the shark tank and see all my favorites, horn hsarks and zebra sharks! i sit and watch for a while and then i decide what i want to move on to the[[touch tank]] or the [[turtles]], or if i want to leave and wander the [[city]] or the [[woods]] <<set $bio to $bio +1>> <<if $bio gt 1>> as i look around i notice a sign that wasn't on the map, [[bioluminescence]]: creatures of the deep, taht looks like quite a good time. <</if>>

i go to the turtle exhibit and can't seem to find them. i look aorjund, the tank is huge so theres lots of places for them to hide. and as im looking i hear a crash and look behind me and see a massive torrent of water coming at me[[...|wake up]]

i go and see all sorts of fun creatures, im a big fan of rays so that was super fun but as i finish up i decide what i want to move on to the [[sharks]] or the [[turtles]], or if i want to leave and wander the [[city]] or the [[woods]] <<set $bio to $bio +1>> <<if $bio gt 1>> as i look around i notice a sign that wasn't on the map, [[bioluminescence]]: creatures of the deep, taht looks like quite a good time. <</if>>

I start hiking with only a vague idea of how to get there but honestly i didn't have anything better to do so if i get lost it is what it is. so i go on [[hiking]] through the beautiful wilderness.

feeling the sun beat down on my face is one of the greatest pleasures in life. there is nothing quite like it. as i drift off to sleep nina simone's voice echos in my head: <<type 80ms>>"birds flyin' high, you know how i feel sun in the sky, you know how i feel breeze driftin' on by, you know[[...|nap2]]"<</type>>

i found a nice resturant downtown called <em>The Rockfish</em> i had heard good things about the food, not so much the prices but this very well may be a last meal situation, so i was sat down and looked at the menu. [[shrimp]] with parsnip puree and yuzu spheres [[lobster]] over a bed of micro greens tossed in mustard vinegrette [[crawfish]] fried with various deconstructed sauces [[scallops]] in kombu broth with lime oil [[crab]] raviolo in a smoked pancetta bolonese

after wandering the city for a while i decided i had to find something to do, crossing th street without looking loses its mystique after a while. ending up in an alley i realized i could just climb a [[fire escape]], get a new perspective on the city. <<type 40ms>>i also considered leaving the city and just going out into [[nature|woods]].<</type>> <<timed 13s>> <<type 40ms>> as i was considering my options someone walked by and handed me a flyer, it had a couple events on it, i was interested in both a house [[show]] and a small local [[gallery]] showing, both tonight. <</type>> <</timed>>

i looked down at the beautiful dish i had been served in awe before i went in for my first [[bite]]

i climbed the fire escape somehow just in time to see the sun setting,<<type 40ms>> i don't know how i'd wandered for that long but here we are. after watching for a bit it really dawned on me that i was going to die today, i had realized it when i woke up but it felt different. i realized that i could go back and say good [[back]] into town let nature tak its course and see what happens or i could take matters into my own [[hands]].<</type>>

i show up at the address marked on the poster. and the place looks [[packed]].

i showed up to the gallery early, it was open but the artist talk hadn't started yet. looking around the work was beautiful i really just had the impulse to [[touch|arttouch]] it. and now i wouldn't normally let the compulsion win <<type 40ms>>but if i was dying today who cares right?<</type>>

<<type 60ms>> <<linkreplace "watch" t8n>><<linkreplace "watch" t8n>><<linkreplace "watch" t8n>><<linkreplace "watch" t8n>><<linkreplace "watch" t8n>>as im sitting in awe at the jelly sfish my focus is broken when some one taps on my shoulder, the hand me a flyer to a house show thats happening to night. so i decide to go to the [[show]] because why not, it sound fun<</linkreplace>> <</linkreplace>> <</linkreplace>> <</linkreplace>> <</linkreplace>> <</type>>

[[...|wake up]] image news article, crushed by statue

that makes 115 toasts sucessfully removed with a kife, i know i shouldn't but there is something so thrilling about this slight rebellion to this universe that i just cant shake. and if im dying anyway to day why the hell not? As I finish up eating my "danger toast" i quickly get out of my dreary ass apartment to take on the [[world|skip]]

8:30... I woke up late yet again, however this sense of dread was new. Knowing I'm going to die really made going to [[work|hungry and dirty]] seem futile but maybe it's just a fleeting feeling, or <<type 40ms>>maybe I have to make the [[most|late]] of my last fucking day. <</type>>

i don't know where the car came from but it blindsided me and in that moment the dread i'd felt all day left my body, for what was an eternity of a fleeting moment i felt at peace with this, everything was ok[[...|wake up]]

(image office explosion news reel) BOOM[[...|wake up]]

[[...|wake up]] (image)

[[...|wake up]] image

i guess the shellfish allergy was passed down to me[[...|wake up]]

i sit with myself for a little while longer and as i stood up i [[slipped|jumped]]

i stepped up to the edge of the building i had climed with the clearest mind i had ever had, there was no panic i knew it was the end whether i [[jumped]] or not.

i had never seen the city like this, fully in motion and stuck in space like i could never had experienced otherwise[[...|wake up]] image like spderverse scene kinda dealeo o sotmhingfksjdga

HOLY SHIT i see a large shodowiy figure what i make out to be a bear. I can feel my heart racing in my head and i can't remeber if i can just [[run]] or if im supposed to stand my [[ground]].

i book it in the opposite direction only to see a smaller bear whch is when i realize i've made a grave [[mistake]].

i stay fucking still and the figure approaches and i soon realize its just a couple out on a hike. i'm still sweating but i may have never been more scared in my life, so much so the dread had left me entirely, but as i [[continued]] on it began to sink back in.

i've never seen so much blood in my life[[...|wake up]]

i hear it, i pick up the pace and find the waterfall i was looking for! it really is a sight to behold. i sit for a while just in [[awe]] of the sheer amount of water that is moving at such a high speed.

there has always been something so magical about flowing bodies of water to me. moving to the edge of the water fall i feel the compultion to [[jump]] but the beuaty of nature has lessened my feelings of death so i might just go [[home]].

sweatshirt and all i leap over the cliff and feel more alive than i ever have before. snd then i [[hit]] the water

i start walking home in what i can only imagine is the [[right]] direction.

hours pass and im still walking I'm completely lost, it's getting dark and i haven't felt like i was goinng to die more than i do in this moment. I decide that i should just set up camp here and try to start a fire or maybe just wander and let [[god]] take me

[[...|wake up]] woods at night image

<<type 40ms>> <<linkreplace "..." t8n>><<linkreplace "..." t8n>><<linkreplace "..." t8n>><<linkreplace "..." t8n>><<linkreplace "..." t8n>>[[...|wash up]] <</linkreplace>> <</linkreplace>> <</linkreplace>> <</linkreplace>> <</linkreplace>> <</type>>

I'M AWAKE! exasperated i say as im being jostled awake by a hiker. she must've seen me jump or at least wash up on shore. I feel like shit now but the feeling of falling makes up for it. the hiker ends up taking me back to town and drops me off at [[home|house]].

I get home and microwave a meal for myself. i watch amovie while eating and eventually decide i must just feel like shit for nothing. so i start preparing for [[bed]].

I grab my bathroom rug from the dryer and toss it down. after pissing and changing i put on some music to brush my [[teeth]] too, the song gives me a good timer to gauge when i'm done.

as im brushing my teeth i begin dancing to the music and feel my foot slip out from under me. I look down and the world is in slow motion, i see that the bathroom rug was upside down making it more slippery. however i felt a sense of peace i have never felt before an acceptance of what was to [[come]].

my head crashes in to the toilet and my tooth brush gets loged in my throat, i guess i really was going to die in the [[bathroom]].

THE END Thanks for playing xoxo -0ats

i walk into the bioluminescence room and im met with such beauty, jelly sih all aorund glowing in the dark, its as if magic were real. I want sit down to [[watch]] although i have been at the aquarium for a while, maybe it's time to [[leave|wander]].

I walk in and the whole place reeks of weed and booze, as i walk through im handed various things to take, and i deny them at first but as i get more overwhelmed i begin to take what ever im [[handed]].

the sense of overwhelm really just manage dto emphasize my feelings of death that have plagued the day, and so i just keep taking substances, drinking, smoking, pills all of it until things [[begin]]

fading[[...|wake up]]